Did you know?

1. 4x more men kill themselves vs. women?
2. Men’s testosterone levels have dropped by an estimated 50% since 1972
3. 1 in 4 infertility issues is now caused the guy
4. Estimated 27% of men under 30 haven’t had sex for over a year
5. Young guys in college reported experiencing the following in the last 12 months:
6. 46% felt things were hopeless
7. 75.3% felt exhausted (not from physical activity)
8. 56.3% felt very lonely
9. 59% felt very sad
10. 34.8% were so depressed it was difficult to function
11. 49.1% had overwhelming anxiety
12. 37.4% had overwhelming anger
13. 11.3% seriously considered suicide

Men aged 18-34 years old have been dealt a really shitty hand but… we’re also the first generation to have a real and promising chance to break the cycle of the last 100 years.

Your dad fucked you over… and for some of you, your dad’s dad fucked him over. They were given a flawed playbook on how to be a man, husband, father, leader, and brother. They were sold into a powerless life, emotionally closed off, hooked on cigarettes, alcohol, a fixed income, and processed food. A life focused on pleasure rather than purpose, vice instead of virtue.

Ask yourself a few questions about your dad:

• Was he emotionally closed off to you growing up?
• Did you always feel slightly disconnected from him?
• Did you constantly find yourself thinking… I don’t want to become like my dad
• Did he constantly drink a few beers throughout the week?
• Would he fail to control his emotions?
• Would you constantly feel like it’s okay to disobey your dads word?
• Is your dad out of shape?
• Is your dad content with his life even though he’s not living at his full potential?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, your dad bought into the lie. He is part of the weak group of 'toxic' masculinity that has hindered the growth of men.

Does this make him a bad person? That's for you to decide. What's important to understand is that the lie he bought into, and his acceptance of it, is the root cause of the feelings of being lost, lacking confidence, emotionally closed off, fearing interaction with women, seeing other men as threats, and any other challenges you may be facing as a young man in 2023.

In this memo, we will delve into the essence of this 'lie,' why it is the root cause of the decline of masculinity, and the clear path you must take to break the generational cycle for your future sons and daughters.

The Decline Of Masculinity: The Root Cause

It is true that history repeats itself. Allow me to provide a brief history lesson on the key shifts in the Western world that have led to the decline of men. Even if you disliked history class, understanding our past can provide invaluable insights that we can use to our advantage in 2023.

I will cover seven major influences that have contributed to the increasing weakness and submission of men from the 1900s to the 2000s.

1. Fast food and industrialized food
2. The rise of cigarettes
3. The re-introduction of alcohol
4. The rise of TVs and mass media
5. The absence of health as a priority
6. The rise of knowledge work
7. The women's rights movement

These influences have had both physiological and psychological impacts on men. A man's confidence and masculinity are closely tied to his physical well-being. Being in good shape, having higher energy levels, clear thinking, strong willpower, and ambition are all interconnected. It is essential to keep this in mind as we explore these influences.

Furthermore, constant distractions and the loss of willpower caused by these influences have led to a lack of desire to pursue personal goals and hindered self-improvement.

The pivotal period of observation & the network effect

Now if you’re a young guy, under 30, I want you to pay attention to everything that’s happening between 1960-2010. This 50 year window is when the majority of these influences really take shape into our dad’s life and molded him into the man he is today. This is also when he would have been raising you as a young boy, some of the most important developmental years of our life.

If you’re reading this but feel like your dad wasn’t influenced by these factors himself, consider that he was still influenced and befriended by men that were. This also goes for you development as a man. Sure your father raised you but I’m sure you were strongly influenced by many men growing up, some of which surely bought into this lie. Something to consider.

The rise of fast food, Industrialized meals, and more calories.

At first glance, the convenience provided by food products and services seemed beneficial, relieving men of the burden of worrying about food. However, the hidden downsides quickly outweighed the initial advantages. By the time these realizations came to light, many had already become hooked and integrated into the fast food lifestyle.

During the 1950s & 1960s (When most of our parents were born if you’re under 30 years old) was when the first major fast foods businesses opened. Mcdonalds, Burger King, Dominos, Subway. Inside the house hold you were seeing TV dinners like Swanson become a staple. Atop of that, there was a sharp rise in refined sugars and industrially produced seed oils as major cooking and baking ingredients.

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What’s the outcome here?

Out of shape men that lack the energy and clarity of thinking to do anything more with themselves then go to work, come home, and sit down in front the TV for the night before doing it all over again…

2 things to note with this chart:

• By 1960, They were tracking 40+% of men were already overweight.
• Although Overweight men has steadied, the increase in obese men has sharply rose.

Rise of cigarettes

Most of us look at cigarettes are repulsive, gross, and something our parents did.

However during the mid-1900s was when they really peaked and grabbed ahold of a number of men’s health and willpower.

Smoking is known to be deadly, but before it kills, it weakens a man. It causes constant fatigue, loss of appetite, and physical decline. Additionally, cigarettes became the first introduction to what I refer to as 'cheap dopamine.' They provided men with an easy way to achieve a quick dopamine hit, bypassing the need for hard work to please a wife or excel at work for a promotion. A lit cigarette seemed to solve life's problems for the next 20 minutes.

This reminds me of what Napolean hill spoke on in his book, Outwitting the Devil on the impact of cigarettes has aside from health: “You may not know it, but cigarettes break down the power of persistence; they destroy the power of endurance; they destroy the ability to concentrate; they deaden and undermine the imaginative faculty, and help in other ways to keep people from using their minds most effectively.”

Then shortly after, Devil continues: “Any habit which weakens one's will power invites a flock of its relatives to move in and take possession of the mind. The cigarette habit not only lowers the power of resistance and discourages persistence, but it invites looseness in other human relationships

I’m a huge believer any man who smokes is limiting their potential as a man. Maybe not in work, but certainly in his health and relationships.

Re-introduction of alcohol

Alcohol has always been a means for men to become less than they could be, affecting both their physical and mental well-being.

Following the end of prohibition, alcohol made a comeback and provided an escape for men from the troubles of life. Beer became the drink of choice for many men in the mid-1900s. It further weakened them and diminished their motivation to show up as their best selves. Alcohol not only poisons the body but also leads to mornings and days spent in a state of hangover, depleting a man's vitality and turning him into a lesser version of himself. The excessive consumption of gluten and calories through consistent drinking also drains a man of energy, contributing to the infamous "beer belly.

Rise of TVs & Mass Media

There are two aspects to consider here: the sedentary lifestyle and the portrayal of masculinity in mass media.

By 1960, 87% of households in North America owned a TV. TVs provided news and entertainment but also became an outlet for men to distract themselves after work, similar to today's social media. Men became hooked on watching sports, news, and other programs because they were already low on energy at the beginning of the day. By the end of the day, they had no desire to do anything but sit down with a cold beer and TV dinner, numbing themselves to the little voice inside whispering "You're meant for more than this."

Mass media played a significant role in shaping the narrative around men and masculinity. Movies and TV shows had the power to control how men were perceived. While not all movies followed this trend, enough did to implant a new narrative in the minds of both men and women. This narrative depicted men as foolish, messy, and lazy, influencing men to conform to this image and becoming hypnotized by the movies and TV series. Perfect example: Dumb and Dumber.

Absence of health as a priority

Still to his day, I’d say we’re not there yet but very close to having health & fitness as a top priority for men.

However, During the 1900s, this just wasn’t the case. Things like bodybuilding was more of a niche activity. Paired with the rise of next influence, knowledge work, the sedentary lifestyle really took shape during the 1900s.

The important thing to understand is the standards which was acceptable in society at this point. It was okay to be overweight, to not move the body, to drink 2-3 beers and smoke a pack of darts. Whatever the standard for society, that’s what the masses do. You do more, you’re not rewarded, you do less you, you’re frowned upon.

Being in great shape is foundational to a strong, masculine man. So to have a nation that was completely accepting of fat men is simply a breeding ground for what we’re now seeing and experiencing today.

Now you pair this with the first 4 influences:

• Eating low quality good
• Smoking daily
• Drinking weekly
• Spending free time seated watching TV

You can really see how much a toll this had on our fathers.

Again… when a man’s health and physique is diminished, so is his willpower, motivation, and inspiration to act greatly. Do you understand yet?

Do you see the pattern of what was happening in the 1900s to our fathers?

Onwards.

Rise of knowledge work and factory lines.

Up until now, the majority of jobs our dads would have employed were physically demanding. Building stuff with their hands.

Men were mainly working with their hands, moving laboriously daily. This kept them in somewhat good shape but mainly gave him a sense of strength and confidence. With the shift into knowledge work, the need for a strong body that a man used daily went away and with it the confidence and all the other benefits exercising has.

Atop of that some other considerations is factory work, very repetitive, mind-numbing, soul crushing work that would drain a man of his vitality if he did it long enough.

If we look today, knowledge work has continue to rise but we’ve re-introduced health as a priority paired with more sitting, resulting in men still being very fit for the amount of desk work we do. Atop of this, we’re in the information age, being ‘wise’ is now very a sought after trait of a man and now has become a pillar of a masculine man in my opinion.

Woman’s rights movement

As I write this in 2023, we have made significant progress in achieving women's rights.

However, it wasn't always this way. Women used to stay at home and not work. There was a time when women couldn't even vote. If a man fulfilled the role of providing income for the family and leading its growth, it formed the foundation of his identity as a man and what it meant to be masculine.

When women entered the workforce, took on leadership roles, and embodied their masculine energy, men were shaken up. This was a good thing imo, as competition breeds innovation. Unfortunately, many men struggled to adapt and felt inferior. Fast forward to today, and we see another critical impact of both men and women working long hours: a lack of emotional connection.

With less time spent with their partners, men lose the opportunity to be in the presence of loving feminine energy, which plays a role in shaping them into masculine men.

Bringing it all together: The Lie

If you didn’t get it by now, here it is, the lie our fathers were sold: Living a comfortable, pleasure-filled life was the key to happiness.

Yet what it really brought was a world of pain, agony, emotional turmoil, divorce, loneliness, and everything else men are currently going through today.

It reminds me of the story of Hercules. A young Hercules is approached by two women, personifying Vice and Virtue

Vice, offers a path of ease, pleasure, and short-term gratification. She promises a life of comfort and luxury without the need for hard work or struggle.

Virtue on the other hand, presents herself as a path of hard work, discipline, and long-term rewards. She offers a life of honor and noble achievement through perseverance and moral integrity.

Faced with these choices, Hercules chooses the path of Virtue, deciding to endure hardship and challenges for greater, more enduring rewards. This decision sets him on his path of heroism and the famous Twelve Labors. The story symbolizes the choice between a virtuous life of hard work and moral integrity versus a life of easy pleasures and moral laxity.

Unfortunately in our version of this stories, our dads picked vice one after another, turning our dads into weak, submissive men like no other period of human history (that I’m aware of). It’s really no wonder we are where we are looking back.

And quite frankly.. I didn’t explore the full depth of what went into this decline of masculine men.

But to recap:

1. Fast food & industrialized products: this led to lower energy and a sharp rise in overweight men
2. Rise of cigarettes: The first introduction of cheap dopamine, making men weak in the mind & body… a sharp decline in motivation for a better life.
3. Re-introduction of alcohol: The introduction of the beer belly, and created docile men, constantly sedated.
4. Rise of TVs & Mass Media: Kept men distracted after work and allowed others to control the narrative of what it means to be a man
5. Absence of health as a priority: Take everything from above and combine it with a sheer lack of priority towards health in culture during the 1900s… making it socially acceptable to have low energy, less confidence, less ambition, etc. A recipe for weak men.
6. Rise of knowledge work & factory lines: A push to more sedentary lifestyle and detachment of man and his body.
7. Woman’s rights: The first time men had to ‘compete’ for the masculine role in the house hold, causing emotional turmoil in the heads of men nationally.

And that is how we’re now deep into a jungle of uncertainty around ourselves as men… What is masculinity? Is it toxic? How do I handle my emotions? The pressure? All of it stems back from our fathers buying into the lie and fucking us over unintentionally but nonetheless the truth.

Now it’s your decision, will you continue to play the victim, being hopeless to change OR will you see this as a blessing, a chance for change, to lead your family out of this pattern? The choice is yours and you have never been in a better environment to make this change. You have all the tools to navigate the jungle, but will you? Or will you just become another dad that fucks his son over as well?

This memo has run long… So I’m going to dedicate the entire next memo to providing the step by step plan I’d take to break this generational cycle and become a strong, masculine man that woman want and men respect.

Till next time.

— Cam, Your Big Brother.

Ps.

As I finished this memo, I was listening to a podcast from Connor Beaton & Chris Williamson: Listen here.

I'm aware I'm being quite ignorant to impact the war had on men. Although the number of enlisted men accounts for under 15% of the total US population at the time, I'm sure this still had a significant ripple effect of men and their ability to connect with the rest of the nation.